How WalMart reinforces the decision to be armed

I swear, it doesn’t matter what time of day it is, what time of month, or what season of the year – shopping at WalMart is always a trip to a human zoo. Fat people on scooters, moms with toddlers in several different shades, Gabby Hayes lookalikes, pierced and tattooed freak shows, etc, etc. I swear, if I ever have the misfortune of being accosted by lawless ne’er-do-wells it’s going to happen in a WalMart parking lot.

WalMart is the central point of a Venn diagram with all the different subspecies of humans (and pseudo-humans). It is like some sort of Supermarket of Dr Moreau…a paean to the untermensch.

And yet, I’ll travel among those people like British explorers through New Guinea in order to save $0.75 per pound on chicken, and get Coke a nickel cheaper per can than at Albertsons.

After my appendix exploded a few months back, the incisions were right along my beltline, which made carrying a pistol kinda painful. As I healed up (no mutant healing factor, sadly) I wound up, more often than not, going sans boomtoy in my daily life. And…I wound up not going back to it.

Driving is second nature when you’ve done it for a while, but a near-accident, or witnessing one, will suddenly make you more self-conscious about how you drive. I don’t need a near-death experience at the hands of some useless waste of skin with a HiPoint to remind me that carrying a gun is a good habit to maintain. WalMart is an exceptionally good reminder that “nothing good happens away from home after 11pm”. (Unless, of course, youre Harvey Weinstein at a post-Oscar party watching Jennifer Lawrence get hammered on boilermakers.)

So..back into the habit that I never should have fallen out of. What’s the gun of choice for the Zero, you might ask? Same as 90% of everyone reading this – comabt tupperware..drastic plastic…a Glock 19. It’s cheap, it works, and it’s what I have.

Nothing like the Parade of Failed DNA at WalMart to get you back into the habit of carrying a gun when you leave the house.

24 thoughts on “How WalMart reinforces the decision to be armed

  1. You should have popped a .38 into a pocket – in a pocket holster of course – with a Speed Strip or two. Still I’ve read many times if you go to WalMart in the morning it’s a lot better as most of the people you do not want to meet are still asleep.

  2. Why go to the freak show place at all? Filthy, disgusting, repulsive, disease infected and to top it all off….their prices aren’t all that good anyhow.

  3. I have the Ruger LCR for such occasions. It’s light, cheap, and pockets easily. Good to go with a speed strip or two. Even lighter than the lightest J-frame Smith.

  4. SAM beat me to it with the .38 in the pocket suggestion. A number of years ago I read an article by Ayoob about how, when on duty in cold weather, he carried one in his offhand jacket pocket. Thus when dialoguing with one of Dr. Moreau’s children he could de-escalate with gesticulations of his gun hand yet all the while having them surreptitiously covered with his offhand that was casually ensconced in his pocket. Also, a turn-loose-of-me gun, ie. NAA .22WMR mini revolver, in the pocket is better than none at all.

  5. I try to stay away from Walmart after dark, and especially late at night. I’ve read that opening a Walmart raises the crime rate in an area! Actually, I think opening any large store with a huge parking lot — that is open late at night — would do the same.

    I echo Sam’s recommendation: a pocket carry may not be the fastest to draw, but it’s the easiest to carry. I never go out without at least a P-32 (though it’s almost always a Ruger LCR, instead) in a pocket, unless I’m headed to a gun-free zone.

    “Supermarket of Dr. Moreau…”, now that’s funny!

    Stay safe,

  6. Couldn’t agree more. Was nearly hit by some jackass in a Wally parking lot. I yelled nice driving and he stopped looking to mix it up…until I showed my pistol. He said he wasn’t scared and I replied: “That’s what the last guy said.” Mr. Low IQ got in his beater and drove off. I detest the store with a passion.

  7. In the immortal words of Chef:
    “Never get out of the f***ing boat!”

    Walmart hereabouts is the same story, sans the opportunity to carry at all.
    Pepper spray and a tazer have to suffice, and I have car and carry models on hand every trip.

  8. And the award for best internet quote of the day goes to Commander Zero with this beauty:

    “WalMart is the central point of a Venn diagram with all the different subspecies of humans (and pseudo-humans). It is like some sort of Supermarket of Dr Moreau…a paean to the untermensch”.

    Personally I feel something’s wrong if I’m down the hill without my sidearm. Kinda like I forgot my wallet or something. Just doesn’t feel right.

  9. One of the problems with WalMart is they were trying to be nice by letting people stop over-night in most of the parking lots. I idea was if you where going A to C for one night WalMart could be B. Nice idea after all the parking lot would not be in use. It did not work out as a one night stop, people just moved in. I’ve seen it on YouTube anything from some one in a $250,000 Winnebago who does not want to pay out anymore down to the local drunk in a box.

  10. You seem to be in one of the few areas Kroger has no stores-that’s a shame. Wally is much higher in food prices ( in general ) and I don’t really trust the stuff to not kill me, as companies make extra crappy crap just for Wally ( reports of generic Spam cans losing their seal, I’ve had “condensed” milk cans that were NOT condensed much at all-makes you wonder what special goodness is in other stuff ).

  11. My appendix ruptured years ago. Opposite to you I became more concerned about my security. At the time I was a young healthy 20 something and generally liked my odds to fight or run. Then I got hurt.

    I wore pants with an elastic waistband for several months. My solution, a shoulder holster for my Glock.

  12. Yeah because of the previous profession I’m kind of jaded, so yes I always carry. But walmart usually makes me feel better about myself, haha.

  13. Shoulder rigs are useful. Ayoob has pointed out that they are good for dealing with various medical and health situations. Getting that weight off your belt can really help with back problems, especially if you get a balanced rig. I’ve got them for my 7.5″ Redhawk on down to itty bitty, with muzzles pointing anywhere from straight up to straight down and in between.

    Look in bargain bins at stores and shows. Be wary of the nylon pouch type construction models for holsters. Ammo pouches and straps are ok, though. Don’t be afraid to mix and match pieces to get what works for you and your gear.

    They can work well for a backup carry, for those who open carry a belt gun, like a cop. Sweater puppies can help women hide a rig, especially a balanced or double rig.

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