I swear, it doesn’t matter what time of day it is, what time of month, or what season of the year – shopping at WalMart is always a trip to a human zoo. Fat people on scooters, moms with toddlers in several different shades, Gabby Hayes lookalikes, pierced and tattooed freak shows, etc, etc. I swear, if I ever have the misfortune of being accosted by lawless ne’er-do-wells it’s going to happen in a WalMart parking lot.
WalMart is the central point of a Venn diagram with all the different subspecies of humans (and pseudo-humans). It is like some sort of Supermarket of Dr Moreau…a paean to the untermensch.
And yet, I’ll travel among those people like British explorers through New Guinea in order to save $0.75 per pound on chicken, and get Coke a nickel cheaper per can than at Albertsons.
After my appendix exploded a few months back, the incisions were right along my beltline, which made carrying a pistol kinda painful. As I healed up (no mutant healing factor, sadly) I wound up, more often than not, going sans boomtoy in my daily life. And…I wound up not going back to it.
Driving is second nature when you’ve done it for a while, but a near-accident, or witnessing one, will suddenly make you more self-conscious about how you drive. I don’t need a near-death experience at the hands of some useless waste of skin with a HiPoint to remind me that carrying a gun is a good habit to maintain. WalMart is an exceptionally good reminder that “nothing good happens away from home after 11pm”. (Unless, of course, youre Harvey Weinstein at a post-Oscar party watching Jennifer Lawrence get hammered on boilermakers.)
So..back into the habit that I never should have fallen out of. What’s the gun of choice for the Zero, you might ask? Same as 90% of everyone reading this – comabt tupperware..drastic plastic…a Glock 19. It’s cheap, it works, and it’s what I have.
Nothing like the Parade of Failed DNA at WalMart to get you back into the habit of carrying a gun when you leave the house.