Originally published at Notes from the bunker…. You can comment here or there.

Being Commander Zero is not all sunshine and stun grenades….its an expensive life. Really, its almost a gamble against something that is uncertain (an ugly future, for example). However, its no different than, say, disability insurance or, really, any other form of insurance. Its an expense to provide large benefit(s) if event x happens. Unfortunately, being the Zero isnt $49.95 a month like alot of insurance. No, its time, money, and alot of odd looks from people from time to time.

I was travelling lately and spent time in Virginia which is an utter hotbed of fedgov buildings, facilities and personnel. Was I uncomfortable? A bit. If, say, a NYC-style blackout had occurred Id have been at a disadvantage. If a hurricane occurred Id have been at a bit of a disadvantage. When Im here in ZeroLand Im much more comfortable…I know that I have food, warmth, clean water, a place to sleep, protection, and LMI’s. In VA there would have been sudden appearances of armed badge-wavers on every corner repeating over and over that they were ‘here for your protection’…and I would have been one of many sheep among the wolves. I dont wanna be a sheep. But I dont wanna be the wolf either. I wanna be whatever it is that watches the wolves and sheep do their thing, all the while completely undetected and left alone. Squirrel?

Anyone can be a liberty-lovin’, self-reliant, fiercely-independent individual when the power is on, the supermarket is open and the infrastructure is running. But when you have to stand in line for a National Guardsman to toss you water bottles and T-rations or shuffle into a Red Cross tent for a free meal and shelter voucher you lose alot of things…self-esteem and control of your future spring to mind.

I would guess that my ability (real or imagined) to be able to take care of myself and my loved ones while everyone else is panicking, starving, freezing or being herded into cattle cars has an incredibly large effect on how I think of myself. Maybe its that secretly Ive always wanted to be a hero, maybe I hate the idea of not being in control of my future, maybe I want a sense of adventure, maybe I’m a fatalist, maybe I just think responsibility for my well being starts and ends with me…I dunno.

Regardless, I tend to not focus on why I do the things I do rather than just simply doing them. There are, after all, far worse interests and hobbies to have. Being Commander Zero has some everyday benefits…food is cheaper since its bought in bulk..same for toiletries and other consumables. Im good at improvising or problem-solving and other uses for ‘thinking differently’. I lead a very safe existence (when Im not out of state)…minimal crime, no senseless violence, no drive-by shootings, etc.

Self introspection is so not my strong suit…lets shift gears….

Picked up some more remaindered meat for the deep freeze, a couple boxes of 3″ Kling bandages, and some more bags for the vaccuum sealer. Winter is coming and I need to make sure im set for emergency heating and lighting. It can get pretty cold here if the power goes out in the middle of winter.