Originally published at Notes From The Bunker. You can comment here or there.

Sometimes, I cannot tell what’s real and what’s satire. I’m guessing this is…real?

The Emergency Bra’s primary function is that of a conventional bra. In case of emergency, it can be quickly and easily converted into two face masks without removing any clothes. In case of emergency, where no specialized respiratory devices are available, it can decrease the inhalation of harmful airborne particles. Because the Emergency Bra masks can be securely fixed to the head, it frees a survivor’s hands to keep balance while running and removing objects on the way out of danger. In certain situations, by providing the wearer with a sense of security and protection, the Emergency Bra can reduce the chance of panic attack.

 

I love that last sentence that all-but-implies that this thing is just a placebo for the easily freaked.

I’m guessing us Penile-Americans are left to fend for ourselves unless someone somewhere is working on The Emergency Jock. I’ll take my chances with fallout and WTC-dust rather than get caught in public somewhere huffing into my underwear.

ETA: It just occurred to me what the best part of this is – in a disaster, all the survivor chicks will be running around bra-less because they’ve got these things covering their face. Win!