Because you suck. And we hate you.

My life, broadly speaking, is a swirling cesspool of despair and hopelessness from which no ray of hope can ever escape. BUT…once in a very rare while, Fortuna, perhaps feeling sorry for me, will discreetly put her finger on the scale and tip it in my direction. It doesn’t happen often, but it happens often enough, like the occasional royal flush, to make me stay in the game. Case in point, todays totally unexpected surprise:

20161023_124815Yes, there is a small patch of wear from where the previous owner had an HK carry handle mounted on the gun, but this is an otherwise unfired, genuine, honest-to-Crom, HK-91 in the box, circa 1981.

A longtime friend of mine came by an announced he was thinning out his collection and gave this thing (and it’s bayonet) to me. I’ve had very few pleasant surprises in my life but this was one of them. I know, I know…most of you are still bouncing the word ‘gave’ around in your head. Yes, gave. As in “Here is an astronomically expensive gun that most people would have sex with a Cuisinart in order to possess. Take it, it’s yours. Free of charge.”

For those not in the know, these things were banned from import back in the 80’s. Of course, that immediately raised their value and they now trade somewhere in the range of what a decent used pickup truck costs.

Being a fatalist, I am terrified. If something this good happens to me, there has to be something equally bad out there waiting in the wings to balance the scales.

For those who havent figured it out yet, this posts title refers to the ‘unooficial’ motto of HK.

28 thoughts on “Because you suck. And we hate you.

    • Yeah, that’s incredibly generous and all, but someone people who suddenly and unexpectedly give away prized possessions are contemplating doing something very bad to themselves or others. Hoping that’s not the case with your friend…

  1. CZ, I am willing to take it off your hands to help you avoid any bad juju heading your way.
    Roscoe

  2. Damn, I thought I got lucky this month when a friend of mine gave me a brand new Randall SP1 fighter and a bunch of FN/FAL parts.

  3. “My life, broadly speaking, is a swirling cesspool of despair and hopelessness from which no ray of hope can ever escape.”

    Dude. There’s always alcohol. And if an alcohol is the problem, there’s always diet Dr. Pepper.

  4. Maybe your friend is preemptively avoiding the anticipated Hillary ban? Joking.

    Hope it shoots straight and true (and often).

  5. Congrats! Maybe nothing bad will happen; thus completely destroy the world view of a fatalist..oh the tragedy.

  6. CZ, Good and bad, Up and down, Yin and yang…I hear you. My wife calls me “Even Steven”. It all evens out in the end, just enjoy the ride.

  7. My jaw is still on the floor. In the box. UNFIRED. Holy Crom, that would be an incredible find at a show or estate sale, much less to have it given.

    I mean yea yea people say the PTR is the same and cheaper, but somehow just looking on the side of mine and seeing those two names on it just makes it better.

    Here’s to hoping that when the other shoe falls, it won’t be really bad.

    • Yeah, it’s like being in a vat of liquid crap up to your chin, and then someone throws a bucket of snot at your head. Do you duck?

  8. Nice! That will go well with the .97 cents apiece HK mags you stored away! I have the giganto box of mags, just need a friend who no longer wants his HK now!

  9. I think that you should avoid the bad thing that is sure to happen to you for this, and just send the omen from hell to me. I enjoy bad things that happen to me, I’m weird that way.

  10. Dude, Just enjoy it. Life deals enough shit cards you just have to accept so be happy about the occasional amazing hand. Plus you got a darn HK-91!

  11. The final shipment of HK91’s to the SF Bay Area was about April ’89. This was a large outdoor/sporting goods store. About 25 of them. Went with a friend. He decided he wanted them all. Took two grocery carts to get them to the front cashier. Before the paperwork was done, the store manager came by and told us he couldn’t sell them all to one person in a single sale. We left with maybe six? It took him a few days, but he got most of them. Out the door was $1497 each.

    He hung onto them until ’94, when he shipped most of them, along with a bunch of other NIB HK guns, to a dealer in NY (state, IIRC). I’m guessing he made a bit of money by reselling them. I found a local dealer that handled the whole thing, as my friend didn’t want to bother selling them individually. With the run-up to the federal ban, I guess he didn’t see the need for that many for a lifetime supply just for himself.

    • Just think there was a time when it was OK to buy and sell guns in S.F. and N.Y. that’s back when they where both in the U.S.A.

  12. Whatever bad thing is coming can be neutralized by the HK.

    Every action has an equal re-action.

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