Johnny Trochmann,, he of Militia Of Montana fame, puts in an appearance at the larger gun shows in these parts. He has about a dozen tables covered with what could best be desscribed a ‘survivalist’ gear…potassium iodide pills, surgical kits, QuickClot, books on everything, specialty ammo, and that sort of thing. At some point he must have found an in with someone in the cruise line industry or a subsidiary thereof because he always has parachute flares, hand flares, and smoke generating devices for sale that clearly came from someone’s lifeboat emergency kits. These items are usually a couple years ‘out of date’ but that doesn’t really mean much in materiel like this.
Invariably, I pick up a buncha parachute flares and smoke cans. Why not? Both can come in handy if something goes wrong in the boonies and you need to indicate your position to the ‘copter people, and, honestly, there are some tactical applications as well.
Despite having a pretty large store of these items squirreled away, I’ve never actually gotten around to trying the smoke devices. The reason was simple…I can’t very well touch one off in town without attracting a large amount of attention (thats what the dang things are designed for, after all) and I never seem to have the time to head to anywhere remote to try them. Until today.
I was scouting out some hunting areas that I have not been to for many, many years and since they were hell-and-gone from prying eyes I figured I’d try one of those smoke cannisters. Pop the top, pull the igniter, and toss it for distance. It sputtered and then started spitting out a rather impressive cloud of smoke for a good three minutes. I didn’t take any pictures or video because YouTube has plenty of them showing this exact version, but it lived up to the expectations. Does it have, shall we say, ‘non-rescue applications’? Well, just from what I observed, you throw three of these down a stairwell or hallway and you’re pretty much going to reduce visibility to zero in a hurry. Maybe you have a use for that sort of thing, maybe not. But…like many tools, it’s a multitasker when you have the right mindset.
Johnny T. sells these at the gun shows for about $4 ea although if you buy enough he usually cuts you a deal. I’ve got a couple dozen in storage and I keep a few in the vehicle at all times ‘just in case’.
Buy them new? Man, I’d hate to have to…but, maybe I wouldn’t have to:
When I was a kid, my high school science teacher whipped up a sugar smoke bomb for a class movie project they were doing. He rather…underestimated…the amount of smoke his little device would generate and the fire department rolled up to the school thinking the roof was going up like Dresden. (Protip: instead of a coloring agent, mix in fine ground red pepper or cayenne to create an irritant effect.)
Anyway…if you’re in Montana and happen to run across Johnny Trochmann and his Tables Of Fun, be sure to grab a dozen or so of those things. And tell him Commander Zero sent you.
I miss seeing and talking To John T, I used to visit with him at the Spokane Gun Show, years back, A very nice and knowledgeable man, sure would be nice to see him again!
Purchased, “Total Resistance” by Major H. Von Dach
from Trochman in Sept 1999 at a Gun Show in my AO.
Interesting fellow…
Mark Koernke, of “America In Peril” fame, still broadcasts
live at: LibertyTreeRadio.4mg.com M-F 5, 6, and 8 pm eastern
For those who’re interested in “all around” preps…
good info
I was cleaning up my garage early this summer and ran across a marine parachute flair I bought at a gun show probably 10-12 years ago. It was made by some company in Sweden or some other part of Scandihoovia. I have two great nephews who are 3 and 5, so it was a natural for me to take this flair to their backyard for Fourth of July. We did 15-20 minutes of the usual “fire cones” and such; then it was time for the parachute flair as the grand finale.
I pulled off the plastic cap covering the igniter, studied the instructions, then prepared to mash the “spoon” that released the spring-loaded igniter. Let’s just say I’m damned glad I didn’t have the rear of that sucker pointed at the family jewels or one of my legs. There really wasn’t fire coming out the rear, more like compressed air, which kind of confused me. All I know is that sucker VERY quickly shot up at least 300-400 feet, the parachute deployed and the flare part ignited.
If you’re ever in a boat on the ocean and Jaws starts munching your transom, one of these flares is what you want to fire down its gullet. Damn!
I learned the hard way that when you touch one of those things off, do not look up as you do it or you get a face full of backblast. Point it upwards, look away, and pull the trigger.
I really miss the old days of buying M18 smokes for $8 and the Canadian/W. German smokes for $5 each. I still have a few left however the Canadian smokes specifically C11 HC 2521’s their plastic casings are starting to deteriorate. I’ve wrapped them with Gorilla tape to keep them together, but their days are numbered. The out of date marine smokes and parachute flares here are getting harder to find every day and I’m not paying $20 each at the local show.
Smoke was $4, paraflares were $5. If you bought a bunch he’d come down on price.
There is always a use for those things.
Even if you’re never lost at sea.
For bonus points, stock up on magnesium ribbon, iron oxide, and magnesium shavings.
Not only does it make a lot of smoke, it’s a poor man’s thermite grenade if mixed proportionately and ignited. Just saying.
IANAL, but while the components are all street-legal, don’t make up a bunch of them in advance, as the BATFE has some rather firm opinions on possession of “destructive devices”, and it’s rather expensive to argue lack of intent (or any other thing) in federal court, especially if you could have avoided the whole trip by not being a dumb@$$.
But the knowledge on how to do it if needs be may come in handy at some point.
Dude…whats with your blog posting these days? Its like once a month or something now.